LadyOfEros

erospainter:

Eros views on the subject of Role Playing

`Role Playing,” for example where one partner agrees to be “in charge” of what happens during sex that evening while the other partner agrees to assume a submissive role, or where one partner agrees to play the role of the pillaging rogue while the other plays the role of the fair maiden, is a very popular and perhaps even beneficial kind of sex play:

1. In its “power play” or “Dominance and submission” forms (i.e. where one partner agrees to do what the other tells them for a certain period of time) it can serve as good practice for the “dominant” partner in learning to communicate about what they want sexually, while the “submissive” partner may get to enjoy a brief respite from the stress of having to make decisions.
2. In the case of other kinds of roles it can serve as a creative outlet, as well as an erotic opportunity to experience your partner acting and dressing like a completely different person —- perhaps almost like having an affair without having an affair?

Either way, it’s important to keep in mind that the following principle should infuse any form of role playing, just as it should infuse any other form of sex with your partner: ongoing consent. In other words, any of the people participating in the role playing “scene” should be able to stop it at any time, and there should be a way to easily distinguish acted-out pleading in the context of the scene (e.g. “Oh no Mr. Pirate please don’t put that in me it’s so big!!!”) from a real request to slow down or stop (e.g. “OK, this is seriously not working for me, we need to stop right now.”) Generally, the clearest way to be sure there are no misunderstandings is to pick a “safeword”: an unusual word or phrase like “red” or “safeword” or your partner’s middle name, which when used by either of you means you both stop what you’re doing and either quit for the evening, take a rest break, or discuss/resolve what was going wrong and resume.